give it to us raw and wriggling
for whatever reason, i've had that line from LotR bouncing around in my head all day. i haven't watched the series in well over a year and still gollum's voice is haunting my wednesday.
i've been reading - and writing, for that matter - a lot of disturbing content, and perhaps the idea of an obscure "raw" and "wriggling" it inadvertently fits in with the themes i've been chewing on.
a couple of weeks ago, I read The Sluts by Dennis Cooper and it made me feel very bad. naturally, i gave it 4 out of 5 stars. the graphic and violent sexual fantasies (or realities?) Cooper writes didn't quite make me physically ill, but they made me regret being human.
today, i finished reading The Shards by Bret Easton Ellis and i'm not sure if i've ever loved a book more. i was skeptical at first about Ellis' writing style, which is unlike that of any other author i can pinpoint, but i quickly became immersed in 1981 Los Angeles and all its seedy charm. i found myself reading until i fell asleep every night, waking at 3AM with drool caked on my pillow and my kindle barely hanging on to the edge of the bed.
Ellis achieves something in The Shards that makes me want to put pen to paper in hopes that I can do the same: he builds a cast of characters and set of circumstances so visceral that you can see them walking around your house long after you've put the book down. i want to do this for someone. i want you to want to live inside of the words i present before you, no matter how awful the outcome.