reflections on five months sober
without realizing it, i hit five months sober two days ago. i wonder what i was doing when the hour struck - certainly not drinking.
according to my sobriety app, i've saved: $1,600USD, 350 hours of my time, and 39.3k calories (i can attest to the calories: in my ~four year relapse, I gained 15 pounds, which is significant for my frame).
when i go to sleep, i take note of the stillness of the room. nothing is spinning. i take note of the stillness of my body. i am not anxiously awaiting the inevitable moment i have to rush to make sure my vomit reaches the toilet.
when i wake up, i take note of the stillness of my head. i am not reaching for the bedside ibuprofen. i take note of the stillness of my apartment. no one is sleeping on the couch and there are no empty bottles littering every available surface.
i am grateful to remember everything i say and do. i am grateful that my friends don't have to tell me what i did last night. i am grateful i am not waking up on the bathroom floor. i am grateful i can stay asleep for more than a few hours. i am grateful no one is mad at me for something i don't remember doing. i am grateful that my life is so, so peaceful now.
if you are struggling with alcoholism, please don't hesitate to reach out. and if you are in recovery, please reach out as well. community is how we carry on. :~)