vashti bunyan, crystal castles, and humanity
i've been thinking a lot about humanity recently. what i mean to say is that, i've been thinking a lot about people, on an individual level and as a species. abstract thought and emotional intelligence are commonly noted as large parts of what makes humans distinct from (other) animals. there's a host of physical features, like bipedalism, that also make us distinct, but our main takeaway for today is that humans think a lot, and about more complex topics, than other living things. for example, my thinking about how and what we think about is a very human endeavor.
i was recently suggested a couple videos in my youtube algorithm that really moved me. at the moment, my algorithm is mostly music and video essays, and i've been delighting in both - new music for when i'm writing new things, and longform video essays for when i need motivation to listen to new music to write new things.
the first video that has been lingering in my mind since it was suggested by the algorithmic bots that be, is The Capital Children's Choir singing "Untrust Us" by Crystal Castles.
as a teenager during the mid-2010s tumblr boom of indie sleaze and vapor wave, crystal castles were everything to my teenage self, their demise a personal loss. they were heavily featured on the playlist i lost my virginity to, and for that, i'll always be grateful.
the original lyrics of "untrust us" are sampled from Death From Above 1979’s song Dead Womb, repeating:
La cocaína is not good for you-ou-ou
obviously, this song is an odd choice for a children's choir to cover, not only by way of the lyrics, but the tone & context seem to work in opposition with the very nature of a children's choir. this makes the rendition somehow darker and more haunting than the original, with the children staring blankly forward as they perform, seemingly omitting the original lyrics in favor of mere vocalizations.
i found myself rewatching this video from 2013 over and over, sometimes as background music, other times focusing intently on different members of the choir. i became curious about how this came to be: was the choir director a crystal castles fan? did one of the teenage singers suggest the song? was it made to be intentionally juxtaposed? i wonder about the humans who made this uncanny little time capsule, and if they know just how human this act was.
the second video, or song rather, that has been following me around for the past week or so, is "If I Were" by Vashti Bunyan.
the song comes from bunyan's 2005 album Lookaftering, with its cover art created by bunyan's daughter, whyn lewis, "known for her unique and almost obsessive paintings of whippets". The title of the album comes from "a self-invented word that refers to taking care of something or someone-- as well as to the process of looking back on the past".
the album does in fact feel simultaneously familial and nostalgic, like something made to be held tightly. bunyan’s music carries a certain melancholic intimacy, and Lookaftering is this intimacy viewed through the lens of someone looking back on a life already lived.
in ruminating on these videos, i find myself circling back to the same thought: how achingly human it is to create and interpret across time. a children’s choir singing crystal castles, a daughter illustrating her mother’s album both serve as little echoes of humanity for others to stumble upon years later, as you and i have.